AA to Change Way of Doing Things (Remember Rule 62!)
New York, Jan. 01, 2011 - Due to the downturn in the economy, Alcoholics Anonymous will NO LONGER be dues and membership free, as has been the case for over 75 years. Like many businesses, AA will now be charging for some things that used to be free, such as:
1. Being Rocketed into the 4th Dimension - $49.99 per trip, fuel surcharge applies, extra baggage NOT included. 5th Dimension trips optional; additional fee applies. See your sponsor for details.
2. Sponsorship - was free, NOW $9.99 per month, with 4 visits/20 phone calls per month free, after that, $2.00 each. Surcharge for calls after midnight: $1.50 per call.
3.. Membership Dues - now $29.99/month, 10% discount for a 1-year plan.
4. Seating charges - Each seat now $1.00 per meeting, with a 20% discount for the 90-in-90 plan.
5. Pink Cloud - was free, NOW $14.99 per cloud, with a $5.00 per event environmental cleanup fee. These are the NEW ozone-free Pink Clouds that do NOT add to global warming.
6. Coffee - $1.50 per cup, with a 10% discount for 5 or more cups.
7. Hugs - will now be $2.50 each. (These are for the higher quality "no burping" hugs.)
8. Conscious Contact with God - now $9.99/month, with the first 450 minutes free, then 10 cents/minute over 450. New Double your Minutes for Life plan is a low $49.99 one time charge. Holidays and weekends extra; see rate schedule, as God is VERY busy.
9. Accidental cell phone call during meeting - charge now set at $25.00 per incident. Intentional calls: $75.00
10. "I've been thinking" fees to now be $3.00 each, with a Relapse Re-entry Fee of only $99.99 (each occurrence), if you're lucky enough to make it back into the rooms. Fees will be used to purchase additional beginner white chips and Big Book.
Kind of makes you think twice about how lucky we are that they decided to have the 8th tradition and not professionalize A.A. Imagine having to pay for a professional sponsor. We probably have the only disease whose cure has not been commercialized. Makes us special and lucky. But, it's so easy to think that the cure isn't worth its weight in gold because we don't have to pay big bucks for it!